Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
