I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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