It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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