yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
