I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
we're so committed to being not committed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
