i barfeds in our rink
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
