Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
