hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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