I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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