For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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