I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
