I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
