so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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