her vagine was all disorganized.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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