Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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