Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
