I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My breasts were aching with rage.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
