After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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