I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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