I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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