it hurts more in the daytime
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
