in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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