i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
