we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
