You made me cry and you don't even care
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
