I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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