Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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