...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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