i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize