i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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