Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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