you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
