Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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