Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
