she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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