you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
