last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
