My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't think brook has ever known best
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
