I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Congratulations! We have a period
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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