I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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