This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
