I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize