Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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