so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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