Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
