he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You left your phone here
Wait...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
