Im at strip club and am horny
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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