If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
