Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
