We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
