let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fuck appropriateness.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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