Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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