Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just wanna soil my oats bro
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can Purell be used as lube?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
