someone threw a dead crab at me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
