I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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