maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
