remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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