yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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