I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
