Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
