Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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