I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
