i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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