# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
