Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My vagina is officially offended.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
