you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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